On finally learning the importance of HELPING YOURSELF FIRST.

Living alone allows you to - as my friend calls it “explore and get to know your true self”. Over the course of 4 years, I’ve been a damsel in distress on numerous occasions but finally learning and understanding that there are so many things I could actually manage by myself, has transformed me into my own personal Knight (albeit the shining armour). I can now say that I not just have the funds to rent an apartment, I have the skills too. Weirdly enough, I now get called by friends to HELP OUT.

1. Doing proper First Aid - learning to clean and bandage a minor injury without fainting at the first sight of blood or losing the ability to deal with the situation appropriately does not help anybody least of all YOU.

2. Owning a car – From getting back from work past midnight, to being able to commute back and forth from my parents place regularly, to being able to drive a friends injured puppy to the vet. No more taxi services-rude auto drivers or crowded buses. I don’t depend on anyone else’s schedule to go where I want to go – when I want to go. One of the best decisions I have made.  

3. Learning to change a tyre – 3 flat tyres at the same time and 2 excruciating hours was all it took for me to understand the value of this lesson. Now, I think there isn’t all that much to it. It’s a relatively simple job that requires very few tools (that come with the kit in the car), almost anyone can do it and once you learn how to change a tyre you won’t have to worry about hoping for the kindness of strangers to get you back on the road again or worse, waiting for the roadside-assistance when you are stuck somewhere out of your comfort zone.

4. Cooking –  Ever wondered why most people are asked what their favourite meal of all times is – they usually reply with some dish from their mothers or grandmothers kitchen? Because cooking encompasses the word NOURISH in all forms. For me chopping vegetables, peeling, stirring curry, blending spices into a paste - while my mind wanders away from all the millions have-to’s of daily life is both therapeutic and calming at the end of a day.

5. Understand that we share our space in the world with cockroaches and spiders – AND THEN do everything humanly possible so that you don’t have to atleast share your home with them.

6. Roll up those sleeves - and learn how to change a bulb, drive a nail through a wall, drain a clogged kitchen sink, unscrew a pickle jar (a jar sat unopened in my fridge for close to 2 months because I couldn’t do it)

7. Compiling a list of all the numbers to call (not just numbers to all the take out dinner places) – I have my plumber, the closest hospital, the dentist and even the numbers of the closest convenience store pinned to the fridge door.

8. Appreciate yourself – your body – your work – your abilities. When you do not share your living space with any other person you don’t see or hear appreciation often. A delicious dinner that you cooked for yourself, the way the house looks after you’ve finished cleaning for hours or even simply when you catch a glimpse of your freshfaced-trackpant-wearing-self- with-hair-piled-on-top-of-the-head in the mirror as you do the chores around the house looking healthy and pretty – APPRECIATE YOURSELF.

Do children today even experience a REAL childhood the way we did??

I studied in an all-girls convent school with 50 uniformed girls in a class. I remember all of them distinctly by type—- the chatterboxes, the enthu cutlets, the Mother-may-I’s , the bright-as-a-pennny ones, the book worms, the notorious back benchers, the ones who always were on the track field, the ones who sucked up to the teacher at all times (remember the kinds who would sit in the front bench, clean the teachers table, get them flowers, carry their book to the staff room), the Barbie doll clones(we actually had girls who would brush their hair a 100 times), the rebels with a cause  , the rebels without a cause ….. Among the sea of children dressed in Blue&Blue uniforms the only thing that differentiated us were our qualities. The same qualities that we remember someone for to this very day and the same qualities that attracted one child to another sometimes laying foundations for life long friendships 

I cannot even begin to imagine the pressure of being an introvert  kid in today’s overly extrovert world where kids as young as 5 have Facebook profiles. I bet it brings with it an untold pressure to look a certain way, act a certain way and most certainly to have a FUN life wherein you take “FUN VACATIONS” which you prove is “COOL” by bombarding everyone with Instagrammed photos.

………………. it brings me back to a saying by Steve Furtich which inspired this post – “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel” and in my opinion what is Facebook if not a documentation of every person’s HIGHLIGHT REEL.

I have a friend who recently told me he let go of his Twitter account because he used a software that let him measure his online time and he realised he was active for 17 hours a day on Twitter and Facebook. Where does that leave one time to live a REAL LIFE and make REAL MEMORIES??

Dont get me wrong… I do have a Facebook account infact I used Orkut too back in the day  …. I still log in to FB once a week to be bombarded with new born babies shot at 100 different angles , expectant parents kissing their pregnant wives belly, photographs of a broken iPad and a description of how it broke, a dude posting a picture of the toast and omelette that his new wife made for him a week after their wedding  .

Most recently I saw a woman, who at best can be called an acquaintance posting a picture of her husband holding her during labour and thanked him in the middle of labour “ON FACEBOOK” – It read like this “Hubby love you for holding my hand through the most beautiful moment of our lives — Pray for us everyone” …. the horror continues – the photo immediately got 124 likes and her online “friends” immediately started commenting as follows – God Bless You , Congratulations, You in labour?? Which hospital are you in??  —————- isn’t there anything called PRIVACY anymore?? Isnt it beautiful that there are moments that 2 people share and the world is not privy to??

I do understand the value of social networking …. The recent protests that followed the beastly act against a 23 year old girl in Delhi gained attention due to Twitter, the arrest of a politician in Hyderabad on charges of sedition was made possible due to public outcry over various social media platforms, the uprising in the Middle East even the raid in Abbotabad that executed Osama Bin Laden’s were first reported on Twitter. While I am at it I couldn’t hurt to mention that even the rise of the phenomenon called Justin Bieber is due to Youtube.

It is a force that cannot be denied and as they say “with great power comes great responsibility” but more often than not what I see on social networking sites is “UNNECESSARY DRAMA”.

Leave 

People can be likened to food ….

….. or fruits specifically. The girls have been discussing this at length in the most recent mail chain. Prav detests STRAWBERRIES …According to her, it was always the most incredibly goodlooking, red, unaffordable fruit and when she eventually ate it…………. it turned out to be the biggest disappointment ever. Don’t we in life also come across such situations where we build people up in our head and present such a glorified image of them to the entire universe, then in reality when we do interact with them and get to know them better we see them for what they are and feel disappointed. On the other hand they could turn out to be a yumm Mango too!!!

I guess that’s how life is served, a bowl full of cut fruits which have all ripened at their own pace  (and some most definitely haven’t ripened)….. Thankfully I got a generous sprinkling of NUTS on top!!!

There is nothing like an Enid Blyton book …….

………….to make a day when you are ill start looking all better again (in my opinion)

Found my 2 decade old battered Famous Five book and as I stayed in bed all day and read the adventure that these kids went on ….. it made me see life in a more happy and positive way. My favourite part was this passage:

“A wonderful smell came creeping into the little dining-room, followed by the inn-woman carrying a large tray. On it was a steaming tureen of porridge, a bowl of golden syrup, a jug of very thick cream, and a dish of bacon and eggs, all piled high on crisp brown toast. Little mushrooms were on the same dish.

‘Toast, marmalade and butter to come, and the coffee and hot milk,’ said the woman, busily setting everything out. ‘And if you want any more bacon and eggs, just ring the bell.’ “

Got me thinking of a discussion I had with someone who is a new age mother a while earlier , who was of the opinion that Enid Blyton books hold no relevance to a child growing up in todays world and that there is no real take back value in these books. I distinctly remember thinking that only an ADULT with such a strong sense of self-importance would be capable of making a statement such as that ……. I believe a child any age in any generation would find the idea of going off with their friends during their holidays, giggling silly with their friends, gorging on yummy food, playing pranks, solving mysteries(atleast in their small imaginative heads) extremely exciting.

I remember watching the movie on Enid Blyton and though I have my reservations about the woman and her choices , I especially remember one statement where she says ” I dont care for any critic who is over the age of 12 and they love my books”

Such clear Perspective.